Photo by Ruvim Miksanskiy
Josh leaned against a weathered oak tree, his breath forming small clouds in the crisp autumn air. The Appalachian trail stretched before him, a ribbon of earth winding through the vibrant reds and golds of the forest. At 30, he felt more at home here, among the whispering leaves and chattering streams, than he ever had in the bustling cities where he’d spent his twenties.
He pulled out his journal, its pages filled with thoughts, sketches of native plants, and memories of past hikes. But lately, a new theme had emerged in his writings – loneliness.
Josh loved the solitude of nature, the way it allowed him to hear his own thoughts and feel the rhythm of his breath. Yet, increasingly, he found himself wishing for someone to share these moments with. Someone who would appreciate the way the morning light filtered through the canopy, or the thrill of spotting a rare bird.
As he scribbled in his journal, his mind wandered to his college days. He’d had no shortage of relationships then, each one intense and full of promise. But they all seemed to follow the same pattern – initial excitement fading into disappointment and, eventually, separation.
“Maybe I’ve been doing it wrong all along,” Josh muttered to himself, his pen pausing mid-sentence.
He thought about Sarah, his last girlfriend. He’d loved her fiercely, planning elaborate dates and surprising her with thoughtful gifts. But when she didn’t reciprocate in the same way, he’d felt betrayed, unappreciated. The relationship had crumbled under the weight of his expectations.
A red-tailed hawk soared overhead, its cry echoing through the valley. Josh watched its graceful flight, envying its freedom. Then, a thought struck him, as clear and piercing as the hawk’s call:
“I’ve been expecting love to come from outside, when it needs to start from within.”
The realization hit him like a gust of wind, rustling the pages of his journal. He’d been so focused on finding someone to love him, he’d neglected to fully love himself.
Josh closed his eyes, letting the sounds and smells of the forest wash over him. He thought about all the things he loved about himself – his passion for nature, his curiosity, his resilience. For the first time, he allowed himself to feel proud of these qualities, to truly appreciate who he was.
As the day wore on, Josh hiked deeper into the woods, his steps lighter, his mind clearer. He began to see his solitude not as a lack of companionship, but as an opportunity for growth and self-discovery.
At a crystal-clear stream, he paused to refill his water bottle. Catching his reflection in the rippling water, he smiled. “I love you,” he whispered to himself, feeling a bit silly but also strangely liberated.
That night, as he set up camp under a canopy of stars, Josh felt a sense of peace he hadn’t experienced in years. He realized that loving himself didn’t mean he had to be alone forever. Instead, it meant that when he did find someone to share his life with, he wouldn’t be looking to them to fill a void.
He imagined two people, each whole and content in themselves, coming together not out of need but out of a desire to share their already abundant love. Like two wildflowers basking side by side in the sunlight, neither dependent on the other for growth, but both made more beautiful by their proximity.
As he drifted off to sleep, the gentle rustle of leaves his lullaby, Josh felt a new chapter of his life beginning. He didn’t know what the future held, but he knew that by learning to truly love himself, he was opening his heart to endless possibilities.
In the morning, he’d continue his hike, but he was no longer searching for something external. Instead, he was on a journey to nurture the love within himself, ready to share it with the world – and maybe, someday, with someone special who was on the same path.